Dear Leon,
My eyes are not my eyes, they look like ping-pong balls. What do I do?
-I Don't Even Play PingPong
Dear I Don't Even Play PingPong,
You probably need to go to Sesame Street, because if you don't, instead of being on a little kid's program, you will be labeled a freak of nature. I can't tell you how to get to Sesame Street, maybe you should ask Elmo.
Sincerely NOT yours,
Leon
